The Pythons are Coming!!
One of my all time favorite current event news topics is the increasing population of gigantic predatory pythons living in the Everglades in Florida and the ever present threat that they are going to migrate all the way across the country to the west coast and start eating our children!! This is awesome because 1) people are fucking crazy and have decided that when their imported pet snakes get too huge they are just gonna let them loose and grow into these insane monster pythons free to roam the wetlands devouring everything in their path and 2) because the thought of a pack of enormous snakes crawling from Florida to California is the most amazing base for the next serpentine cult classic featuring Iced-T, Ice Cube, Tone Loc, Kool Keith, Dre, Snoop, The Game and any other rappers that want to get involved... not to mention the alligator/python war that is also occurring out there!!